Wednesday, December 15, 2021

weekly posts will now be on weds lol

So trying to blog every week was a disaster the Iast two weeks, but I think if I just mash it in between my streaming days, I'll be able to remember to do it lol.

Tw: CSA and PTSD talk in the paragraph below.
Talked with my therapist about the childhood sexual assault memories I'm having. Lots of crying and I recounted what I could remember. He encouraged me to write about what I could remember, because small details can help me figure out what happened. One thing that struck me is, was I really suicidal at 8 or was I confused and experiencing trauma and struggling to make sense of what happened? I don't know specifically who it was or if it only happened once or more times but there are patterns of bad behaviors of people around me that were difficult to ignore. I think I know who it is but the thought of it being him unravels my entire being. I dunno what I'll figure out but it scares me what it could be.
Tw end.

In creatures news, I found some bugs in my treasure chest so I'll be working on that. I have a lot of the images done for the dictionary so I'm hoping to finish it soon.

I got a referral to gastro today so hopefully I'll be able to find out what's going on.

Things are good, I feel like healing is going well. I've made a discord server also which I'll link on the side bar. Streaming is close to getting affiliate. I just need to bring up my average viewers. Hopefully I'll be able to get a disability lawyer soon.

Some things are chaotic but others seem to be falling into place. I'm hopeful.

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