Friday, December 31, 2021

I've gotten covid

Even though I've been so careful, I have covid.

I'm worried about having long covid. There is a risk my current MCAS symptoms will get worse after covid is out of my system.

I dunno what else to write but I'm scared. Govt hasn't done shit to help anyone getting this disease and now I'm probably gonna live in my bed the rest of my life.

It's a little hard to breathe. I hope it doesn't get worse. I may be facing my mortality. What can you do? I did what I could. The hospitals are full right now. Let's hope I can treat most of my symptoms at home.

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

weekly posts will now be on weds lol

So trying to blog every week was a disaster the Iast two weeks, but I think if I just mash it in between my streaming days, I'll be able to remember to do it lol.

Tw: CSA and PTSD talk in the paragraph below.
Talked with my therapist about the childhood sexual assault memories I'm having. Lots of crying and I recounted what I could remember. He encouraged me to write about what I could remember, because small details can help me figure out what happened. One thing that struck me is, was I really suicidal at 8 or was I confused and experiencing trauma and struggling to make sense of what happened? I don't know specifically who it was or if it only happened once or more times but there are patterns of bad behaviors of people around me that were difficult to ignore. I think I know who it is but the thought of it being him unravels my entire being. I dunno what I'll figure out but it scares me what it could be.
Tw end.

In creatures news, I found some bugs in my treasure chest so I'll be working on that. I have a lot of the images done for the dictionary so I'm hoping to finish it soon.

I got a referral to gastro today so hopefully I'll be able to find out what's going on.

Things are good, I feel like healing is going well. I've made a discord server also which I'll link on the side bar. Streaming is close to getting affiliate. I just need to bring up my average viewers. Hopefully I'll be able to get a disability lawyer soon.

Some things are chaotic but others seem to be falling into place. I'm hopeful.