Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Everything hurts and I'm dying

The last two weeks have been really rough on me. I been around a 9 most days, and barely have been able to get out of bed. Been averaging 500 steps for the whole day. I am so miserable. I tried a percocet to see if it would help my pain. It did nothing at all. So really this tells me I should be on stronger pain meds, because whatever I'm doing isn't doing shit to help with the pain. I'm at a complete loss. I also managed to be late on some bills because I thought I paid them, but my fibro fog brain was just tricking me. I need to come up with money out of nothing because my disease screwed me over again. I have no idea what to do. Being disabled is so hard and if I want to get SSI I discovered today that I likely need to get a divorce. This country punishes people who get sick. I didn't ask to be this way.

I'm so so so tired. I'm tired of being in pain and having no life. What can I do? I am trapped in poverty because of illness. I'm stuck in my bed because of illness. I plan to stream the next few days because I have to beg for money again. I don't see the point in trying to live in a society that punishes me for existing. I'm trapped.

I think it's time to write articles about how screwed so many of us are. It's not just me, it's so many people.

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