Wednesday, April 3, 2019

I have a diagnosis

I have a diagnosis and its EDS. I was right all this time, that something was wrong with my body. Years of people telling me that its just in my head, that I was faking, or whatever, they can suck it. Everyone wanted to blame my anxiety and depression instead of taking me seriously that I was in extreme pain. Honestly I'm surprised I even worked as much as I did, after I subluxed my hip at work more than once.

Basically this disease means my collagen is shitty, so a lot of parts of me are not good at what they do. What parts of me are effected? My veins, my skin, my joints, and you know... all my organs. It's why I have a reaction to wheat even though I don't have celiac disease. It's also why I couldn't see out of the periphery of my eyes the last few months I was working, because my veins aren't elastic enough to keep my circulation going well. That, plus the mitral valve prolapse, and the POTS, all contribute to my problems with stairs.

The thing that sucks is doctors are terrible in Ohio about pain. Tons of doctors ignore POC complaints of pain, so I have little hope that I'll be able to get pain medication besides medical marijuana, which makes me unemployable in the state of ohio because you can get fired for using your medication. If I could get actual pain medication I could probably return to work, at least part time. But right now I doubt that's going to happen because of the opioid crisis, even though it was fucking started by pharmaceutical companies who knew how addictive that medication was. This is some bullshit I cant do anything about that ruins my quality of life, but you know mY pAin IsNt ReAl.

Please pray, or whatever religious thing you do, that I can get a home soon. I don't know if we'll have enough for a down payment, so please help us if you can. I did finally sell some jewelry so hopefully I can make something out of the wreckage that is my life. Writing has been a struggle but I'm starting to get a pattern down. I have hope but not a ton of it.

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