Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Oh jeeze

I am freaking out about my situation. TL;DR too many bills, not enough income since I'm unable to work. If you can donate, please help.

I am in a bad place still with finding housing. We can't find a place to live because it's impossible to find something in our range. I also have $130 electric bill from the air conditioning because I can't maintain my body temp correctly (thanks dysautomia, and my hEDS). I also have gotten a carecredit bill for when my dog died that's about $600. The lowest cost pain meds I can get are $30 which lasts me about a week. I can't work. My body is a piece of shit that doesn't work but I'm still not on disability yet because it's a long process.

I also can't fucking stand that every time I get up or move around I injure myself. My legs and ankles are covered in bruises and my hands are covered in cuts because I keep accidentally hurting myself. I can't do dishes anymore because I keep accidentally cutting my hand on everything. It's almost like my collagen sucks so I'm fragile and take a long time to heal or something.

I redid my tumbler and I think I'm gonna put most of this emotional stuff on there. I need something to talk about how the world is ending and everything is terrible.

But at least I'm drawing again. I been working on making some fan art because I need to focus on something I can control. Hopefully I'll be posting something soon.

Still working on AlbiaSquared, don't worry! Been messing around with insects a bit to add some life into the game. Also my big project is the different birds I made.

Monday, June 24, 2019

If you're suffering, keep going

I'm sorry, I know I have been screaming about how difficult shit is here. It's been a ridiculous struggle.

I might have secure housing soon. I'll have a basement but everything is on one floor. This is going to improve my energy a lot and I'll be able to work on things I want to work on again.

I have my diagnosis and I'm working on disability paperwork.

My psych meds are at a great spot. They aren't too high so I'm not experiencing increased body heat, which was why the last few summers I've been having a really hard time with the heat. This year I don't feel like I'm constantly sweating, thank the gods.

Therapy is at the point that I don't need to go every week anymore.

I am working on things I like even though it hurts to do it.

Pain meds are still out of my grasp but kratom and medical marijuana seems to be helping some of the pain. I am at least able to get my hygiene taken care of.

Did you know that most of those tv infomercial things are for people with disabilities? Lots of stuff like slapchop and the vegetable salad bowl cutter help people like me who don't have much strength be able to prepare food. Even the snuggy was made for limited mobility people. I'm still finding more stuff that can be useful and I'll put it in a wishlist. I used my grabber the other day to clean up stuff off the floor and my apartment isn't a hot mess anymore. These mobility supportive stuff really helps.

I have opened up AlbiaSquared again and started working on animals again. Some of these guys came out beautiful and I can't wait to release what I'm working on.

I have added more stuff to my Etsy store so please look! I really love the pieces I have made and I hope you'll consider picking something up or commissioning me with an idea for a nerdy piece. I've started making two more coasters yesterday. I'll also be streaming some of the code work this week for AlbiaSquared. Please consider donating! I also opened up a channel in discord so you can talk to me about any bugs you found.

Things are improving but it's still rough every day. I'm happy to be doing things I enjoy again.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

yikes

I think I might be screwed.

We have a month left to try to find a home and put an offer in. Most of the houses I have been having problems with is because they are not accessible enough or they have something that violates FHA. Hooray for discrimination!

Capitalism doesn't care about us, because I have genetic health problems that cant be controlled.

The planet is on fucking fire though, and I'm watching society collapse in real time.

I have lost all my fucks. I have no more fucks to give.

Maybe someone will magically buy me an accessible home, and I wont have to panic about having a stable living situation. The most accessible houses are in the 80k range and we are only able to look at 75k or less because I cant work anymore. We cant rent anywhere on Jeff's income alone. I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to live in west Cleveland. I just want to live my last miserable years in one fucking place while my body falls apart, and be able to use a wheelchair to get around in my house.

People with EDS age faster in some ways. I lose my mobility as joints become less stable and more prone to dislocating or shifting. I dislocate or partially dislocate large joints at least once a month. My ribs slipped a couple times this past month just from how I was sitting; I will be just chilling working on art, or just watching fucking Netflix, and I suddenly can't breathe. I hate it.

When is society going to pick up disabled people and support them? Probably never.

I'll probably be homeless eventually, as happens to most people with health problems.

my life is fucked lmaaoooo

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Mr Wiggles

Thank you those who donated, because I'm gonna be prone for a few days after I have my dogs funeral tonight. Unfortunately my baby has passed on to the other side. He was such a gentle soul even though he was abused before I adopted him. And really, he helped me recover in a lot of ways after my abusive ex. At least he will always be with me.

Don't be weepy sleepy puppies
Put your slippers on your footies
In the morning you'll get goodies
Puppy hats and puppy hoodies
No stripes or polka dots
Heather Gray and feather soft
Baby pink or baby blue
All the drawstrings you can chew.

I love you baby boy. You'll always be my best friend. You can visit me any time.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Frustration

If I wasn't disabled I would have enough money to take my dog to the vet and we wouldn't be struggling to find a home. If anyone can spare please donate. https://www.paypal.me/ChristineShara